We Are More Than A Number On A Scale

1 Posted by - January 13, 2014 - Eating Disorders, Poem, Weight

Saartje Lommelen for A Beautiful Body Project

How can you love someone else if you don’t love the one you see in the mirror everyday? L. had an eating-disorder when she was younger, she cured from it, but the unrealistic view of her body stayed with her.

But she fought back and she won. She came to the studio so we could make some pictures she would use to show her partner. She wrote a poem, tells her story and I chose 3 pictures. They all show how she blossomed.

L: “I’ve suffered for 13 years from boulimia, at that time half of my life. By the time I met my partner, boulimia was already part of me, but I never showed the true face of this disease, I was even too scared to look at it myself, how could I trust someone else to look at me and my disease?

By the time I decided to get internated, my life excisted only by myself, a number on a scale and the size of my pants. There was no room for a partner, no room for children, no room for dreams, no future, a dead end. There was only one way, and that was look at myself, look at my boulimia and be fair with myself, for the first time in my life.

The real U-turn was when I realized that there was only one person responsable for my happiness and that was me, there was no person more important to love me, than myself, there was no person more important to forgive my mistakes, than myself

3 years later I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. And I realized more than ever that beauty can not be captured in a number on a scale or the size of my pants.

I gave birth to 2 healthy children, I breastfed them I suddenly had a strong and impeccable mother instinct. The experience my body and mind were strong and capable of doing this made me discover the true beauty and power of me.

I’ve left my boulimia behind 8 years ago. That doesn’t mean that never suffer from a lower self esteem, from day to day, just like so many women do. So I wish myself and all those other women a lot of kindness and selfcompassion

Dear R, we know eatch other for more than 14 years. Even longer than I suffered from boulimia, I’ve hiden myself and never truely alowed you to see me, I was afraid and it took me a while before I realized you were there, all the time, you gave me all your trust and all your love, you stood by me, even when I didn’t want you to, so this is for you, as much as it is for me”

Here I stand

Naked before you

stripped off all the clothes I wear,

stripped of all the masks I wear

No fears to fear

No walls around

 

Here I stand

naked before you

simple, pure,

simply in love

with you

 

So I hold your hand,

will you hold mine?

 

– Saartje Lommelen is a regional photographer for A Beautiful Body Project based in Belgium. Click here to learn more about her work and explore doing a shoot with her: www.facebook.com/VeloFoto

 

  • A Beautiful Body Project is a media platform for women dedicated to truthful photographs, a book series, and video platform based in Tucson, AZ. Jade Beall is the founder and you can learn more about her at www.JadeBeall.com

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