This body has dreamt many dreams… From the beginning it has been tickled, torn, pummeled, pleasured. As a young person it was used as a means in which to repent for my mothers sins, for every strait jacket that my ancestors were bound in, I too bound myself.. An agony that I carried for far to many years. Withholding food, love, pleasure. Convinced that this sacrifice would make my heartache go away.
This body has dreamt many dreams, it was once taught to me that it was a prison, something to punish,something to tame, to control, to fear. This body temple that has wrapped itself around my shiny soul, has been abused, rejected, misdirected and disposed of over and over again, and has somehow risen from the Ashes of the aftermath of my minds raging and forgiven me time and time again. This body has dreamt many dreams, it has been the vessel that has funneled divine Energy straight to this earth, like a grand beckon saying ” I am sacred, I am holy, I will expand, I will rejoice”!! The second I felt my childs spirit explode thru me And implant itself in my womb, I knew it was time to stop this bloody war that I Have had with this kingdom that now housed a child, a star seed. I realized then That this love I had for my baby was the same love that the universe had for me And it would take that vast unconditional love to remind me of my wholeness. As I prepared for my birth, I told my baby that she was welcome to grow as big as she Needed. I was proud to carry this miraculous mountain a top my hips. With a rejoiceful birth , I brought my child to my breast in a moment of magnificent Glory, repenting no more… I continued to do so for two and a half years until My son snuggled down deep into my womb and said “okay mama, its time to grow Again” and grow I did. I Grew a 9 lb. 4 oz. chubby little man inside this temple. Watching yet again as the dry rivers spread wide and deep across the tundra of my Aching skin. Knowing fair well that this was a story my body wanted to tell, no Matter what I did, my body would be marked for ever. Creating a noble legend that My children could read across my stomach at bedtime. I could trace every Expansion line, as the time line of their becoming. To this day my children worship This belly of mine, it belongs to the three of us. As my children grow and claim Their own bodies, I am left standing in front of the mirror for the first time in 9 Years . I must admit that I cringed at what I saw, wondering “what happened to my 20 Year old body?” But this time I had a good 9 years of self esteem under my belt And lots of laughter infused into every cell of my body, and an 8 year old Daughter who was watching me. So I did what any mama would do, I allowed the Goddess within me to speak in a booming voice. YOU ARE THE DIVINE!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST AS YOU ARE! Everyday is an exercise in self love but the Beautiful Body Project gives voice to a chorus of mothers rising up from the Ashes and singing, YES, THANK YOU, I WILL GLADLY LOVE MY BODY AS IT IS!!!!!! Sometimes that very song is the only thing that carries me through….. Many Blessings
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