I am 37 years old and I am a mother of 25 months old. I have worked since I was 17 years old. The last 8 years I have worked for a football team, running at high speed in my career, and then, thanks to God, I discovered I was pregnant. My partner had serious problems due to the severe prostatitis and we feared that children would not come easily. Everything changed with the birth of my son Lorenzo. I gave up everything; the woman manager always in heels that travelled throughout ltaly, one of the few women sport directors, became a happy mother and a desperate housewife. I left a piece of my heart, but with that job I had no times, no holidays or free Sundays. It was a world still too chauvinist and not suitable for a mom. I left my job because I wanted and I want to grow with my son.
I still breastfeed Lorenzo, alas! I say that because for me lately has become a burden, not because of breastfeeding itself, mostly because he still clings often. In the night, he wakes up every two hours, every twenty minutes during his naps. Therefore, I know you will understand that I am tired and there is not the light at the end of the tunnel. I am pro breastfeeding, even if prolonged, in our case it was a very effective medicine because Lorenzo was allergic to milk and dairy products.
At 6 months, he had atopic dermatitis on the cheeks. I went to the doctor and he said: “Ah, this is an atopic dermatitis, normal in most cases until three years! We will then work on the itching… Here, take these samples of creams… “. I got home discouraged. We have a restaurant in the centre of the town. In the afternoon of the same day, I went down to the restaurant with Lorenzo to greet my partner and I saw one of our loyal customer sat at the bar. He was the director of the inherited metabolic diseases department of pediatrics.
The doctor looked at us and asked me “What did this child on the cheek?”. I said, “This morning our paediatrician told me that it is an atopic dermatitis that he will bring back up to three years”. He baffled “I guess you still breastfeed… Do you eat many dairy products?”, I ” Yes, I like them and I drink about a quart of milk a day”, “Well you have to take away all the milk, remove tomatoes, eggs that are the things that normally bring food allergies!”. I removed all these food and I started integrating them bit by bit. I knew that Lorenzo was allergic to milk, soy and beans.
The doctor recommend to breastfeed up to two years and so I did, until Lorenzo recovered a few months ago, but has become dependent of the tit. Sometimes he only sucks and if I refuse in giving to him, he will have mind-blowing crisis, crying, kicks on my face and he pulls my nose. I usually try to calm him, but nothing to do. In addition to this, they keep on saying: “Are you still breastfeeding? He is big enough!” and I feel worse. I tried to explain that my son thanks to the breastfeeding will have no more chronic allergy to food thanks to breastfeeding, but they still looked at me as I was doing something very wrong.
I’m frustrated and tired, but happy that my son can eat whatever he wants, except milk at breakfast, which continues to be ignored because of his tit.
Pregnancy is beautiful from the psychological and emotional point of view, but personally, as for other mothers, leaves not indifferent marks. I still have a bit of extra pounds I try to hide in clothes, always black or dark. I had mastitis and cracked nipples and I still have huge breasts that I can hardly tolerate.
My feet are up to a size and a half and I had to give all my beloved shoes. Not to mention a strong headache that accompanies me for four days a month, and there is no medicine that can get over. The only sign that I don’t see absolutely as a problem is the scar of caesarean section, in fact, I get emotional whenever Lorenzo touch it with his finger, as if he knew that came out of there! I can’t accept, instead, my belly that makes a crease above the scar. I am so insecure and I ask myself a million questions, but my partner always says that he loves me as a woman first and then the mother of his son. And the set of paranoia vanish in an instant!
Children are a precious gift, unconditional love, and the sacrifices a mother makes are fully paid back. It is true, the mirror is a bitter enemy that simply show the marks on our body, but the love for a child is a whole other dimension. The changes in our body are indelible tattoos of the power of life. Women are the bearers of life, we give light and Mother Nature gave us a great privilege that we must not waste!