I Didn’t Lose My Hair and Breasts, Cancer Took Them

2 Posted by - June 25, 2015 - Cancer
A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

Photo by Ash Nayler

“It must be hard to lose your boobs.”  Even my breast cancer surgeon, aka the guy who cut off my boobs 4  times, says “of course you’re upset, you’ve just lost your breasts”.  

The medical-oncologist who poured poison thru my body to kill whatever cancer cells there _MIGHT_ be hanging around warned me “you will lose your hair”.

People, my boobs are not mittens.  I didn’t LOSE them.  I had my 36DD boobs cut off because they were trying to kill me.  There’s a difference.

Photo by Ash Nayler

A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

I didn’t LOSE my hair, we just haven’t come up with a better solution to cancer than pouring poison throughout our entire bodies on the off chance there are some cancer cells wandering around…. well cancer cells or any other fast growing cells like hair, nail, nerve, skin cells.  We have raised billions of dollars for cancer awareness and our best shot is to send un-targetted poison thru our entire body to kill anything the looks somewhat like a cancer cell.  Fast-growth cells, the ones chemotherapy targets are not mittens either… I didn’t LOSE my hair, i killed it with poison because that was the only medical option available to me to prevent more cancer from growing.

A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

Photo by Ash Nayler

Stop acting like we’re forgetful airheads that LOSE our body parts.  We didn’t misplace them, they are taken from us because pinkwashing “awareness” is way more fun and easy than the hard science of figuring out how to target cancer cells.  Who wouldn’t rather go for a fancy luncheon at a nice restaurant to discuss cancer awareness campaigns than spend years in a laboratory finding a way to target cancer cells instead of all fast growth cells.

A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

Photo by Ash Nayler

So if i didn’t LOSE my boobs and hair, what did happen?

I didn’t accidently misplace a couple body parts, they were lost in a war. It was a war where one side sent out a volley of 5 major surgeries and 11 minor ones, 27 shots of radiation and 4 major doses of poison.  My side had to withstand the assault and come out the other end — that’s all, but it was a lot.

A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

Photo by Ash Nayler

I am not mad at my boobs.  Cells evolve, they’re s’posed to.  It’s not malicious that some of my boob cells evolved into bad cells; there’s no mastermind determining how cells evolve so I can’t be mad at my body for doing what it does naturally.  It’s the same body that withstood a shitkicking and kept getting back up and healing again and again after every assault.  I am damn proud of my body for the number of times it was cut and healed and it was poisoned and it withstood.

A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

Photo by Ash Nayler

And now, i am flat.  I love being flat…. I look at my scars and I see a year of pain and torture and survival. Letting my breasts go was easy. They didn’t do much for me – I don’t have children to feed with them, I don’t define my femininity with them, i feel more a woman now than i did when I had boobs… so they didn’t really offer me much benefit when i had them.   I feel more myself without my boobs than I ever did with them.  Now, my body is not the standard off the line model, it’s the customized version with parts I chose myself.  And I choose to be flat.

 

A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

Photo by Ash Nayler

But don’t you dare suggest that I lost my boobs or hair.  Nothing i went thru was accidental or misplaced.  NOTHING.

Whatever YOU decided to do with your body, just remember, boobs are not mittens.

A Beautiful Body Project | Ash Nayler

Photo by Ash Nayler

Thanks so much to Katherine for sharing her story through this 3-part shoot! Please click the SHARE buttons at the top of the page if Katherine’s journey touched your life?

-Ash Nayler is an ABB Project Photographer

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A Beautiful Body Project is dedicated to truthful non-airbrushed imagery and stories that share our common bonds through emotional truths. Please consider clicking the link at the top to order a copy of The Bodies Of Mothers for yourself or someone you love. Thank you!

2 Comments

  • Alaina Brownell Chapin June 25, 2015 - 7:40 pm Reply

    This is just wonderful. WONDERFUL.

  • Shelley Ross September 4, 2015 - 2:59 pm Reply

    Boobs are not mittens! Brilliant message. Brilliant photo essay. F&F: the most courageous, the best!

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