“I love my body every inch of it.
How did I arrive at loving me as I am one may ask. Well when I thought about looking into the mirror with a nose different from the one I have today I thought it would not be me. After all, it’s my father’s nose, a part of my family. This was in high school.
I learned that I was more than my hair in 2009 after cutting my hair myself in Technical school right before getting to my first duty station. I sat on the sink in my dorm room and just began to cut my hair not really knowing why. I had an emotional break down the next day because I felt that was the only thing that made me beautiful, NOT TRUE. Some say I did the cut because it was the only thing I had control over at the time having gone through being controlled in basic training and tech school.
I never really cared about having small breast I was more concerned with my nipples being inverted and was very concerned about if I’d be able to breast feed. In 2013 my breast preformed for me allowing me to produce milk for my premature child. My breast changed so did my nipples and it all went fine.
Speaking of having my child I hold a beauty mark of love which represents a miracle. It is a miracle one because I live with polycystic ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which is a leading cause of infertility and high rate of miscarriages. We both made it. I was asleep when my son was born due to my plate count being low and the Doc not wanting me to bleed out it was an emergency C-section I had preeclampsia. It was also a miracle because there was possibility of us not both making it out of the procedure which I wasn’t aware until it was all over and my son father told me they asked him which to keep if it came down to that.
I have other symptoms with PCOS that have affected the way I view myself, body image, and lack of feeling feminine which include irregular periods to nonexistent periods, excess facial hair, acne, small cysts on ovaries, insulin resistance, anxiety and depression. I didn’t personal experience weight gain and male pattern hair loss but they are very common symptoms among PCOSers. I have learned to accept even the hair me and love myself when I have a breakout.
I have managed my symptoms through life style change of nutrition and exercise which are also mood boosters and builds confidences.
People have said I would be beautiful if I was bigger, but as long as I’m strong and healthy I’m not concern if weight comes cool if it doesn’t o well. I am a mom in combat boots and my son is my strength, my blessing, and why I am alive today feeling the way I do about myself. He reminded me I can accomplish anything I set to do when I give it my all. I am honored to be you mother Declan Kol Duffie. I pray that through my sharing that women grown in self-love. It is my mission to promote love and respect toward self and others.